Top 10 CV blunders

The TalentPuzzle team bring you our top ten CV bloopers, compiled from a number of sources around the internet.
1. “Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”
2.“Qualifications: Twin sister has accounting degree.”
3. “Hobbies/Interests: art, music, surfing the net, collecting Happy Meal toys”
4. “I have developed a healthy work-life balance” – on a CV which lists just one part-time job
5. “Two years as a blackjack and baccarat dealer. Strong emphasis on customer relations – a constant challenge considering how much money people lose and how angry they can get.”
6. “It’s best for employers that I do not work with people.”
7. “Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.”
8. “Reason for leaving previous position: Responsibility makes me nervous.”
9. “Target Position: Missionary”
10. “My mediocre grades do not reflect my true abilities and standards…My goal in life is to win the Nobel peace prize…Skills: bleaching, pot washing, window cleaning, mopping etc”
Any others from personal experience you could contribute?